I sent another email last night. I don't know if that's being overbearing or pushy or what but it's the last one I'm going to send. I have waited almost 3 weeks since I was 'promised' a 'nice big update this weekend,' and a total of 3 months since the original promise was made. I wouldn't wait that long for a friend to follow through on a promise, but I have to wait for her. Just wait, and wait, and wait, because she holds my world in her arms and there's nothing I can do to change the situation other than send a friendly 'reminder.' I was nice in the email, and I simply said that I wanted to see if she had gotten a second to send something, because I was really looking forward to it. This is my 2nd email to her about this, (plus a text message) and I even said to her that I felt like a pain for asking again.
I wish I could find a way to explain that it's not the amount of time that bothers me as much as it is the broken promises. She is the one person I cannot and do not want to lose trust in. How can I not 'trust' the woman who is my child's mommy? I can't fathom it. I don't want to think about it and I don't want it to get to that point.
I talked with her father (bio) about this and he said that if she doesn't email by the end of the month, to let him know and he will write to her. She did say in the letter that she sent him that she'd be sending pictures to me soon and that she was sure I would share them with him, but if I didn't, to let her know and she would send him a set. So he can play dumb (won't be too hard - sorry, was that harsh?) and tell her I never showed him the photos so he would like his own copies. I know, I know...lying to her is awful. I'm desperate here.
Let me start by saying: I am an a-mom. I don't think you should have to send 3 e-mails! I feel bad you are in the position you are in, and I agree with you. How frustrating. She may have a reason, maybe something crazy going on, but either way, that should be communicated to you. Sorry!
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you for being upset. I think it would be a huge let down to you if you can't even trust her Mommy. I like your plan to have the birtfather ask for pictures. It makes me so upset that you have to feel bad for asking. Its her adoptive Mom that should feel bad for not keeping her word.
ReplyDeleteEeeeek! Oh no! Well, him saying he did not see them is NOT an issue of lying. It could be that you guys just did not communicate. I hope for sure that she has just forgotten and got a little sidetracked. That is what I really want to be happening to you with this situation. I know you are eager to get that update that you have been promised. I hope it happens soon. Hang in there. HUGS!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm an a-mom as well. You shouldn't have to fib about passing along photos that were promised to you. You are NOT in the wrong here. As someone else said, maybe she has a somewhat valid reason... but IMO, she STILL should have communicated that to you. How does she know you're not freaking out, wondering if something bad has happened?
ReplyDeleteIt drives me absolutely batty when some a-parents act irresponsibly because it paints such a bad picture for the rest of us. I will admit, I sent my monthly update for February over a week late (and it takes 3-4 days to get there b/c I send it priority). I was embarrassed and felt really badly and apologized profusely, and then I followed through with my commitment to getting it out ASAP. We do make mistakes, but then our responsibility is to try to fix them as soon as we possibly can. YOU shouldn't feel bad for asking. She should feel embarrassed for making you wait and wonder.
Thank you all for your support...I was beginning to wonder if maybe it was me just being impatient and a little "crazy" (because admittedly, I have been)! I'm just praying and keeping my fingers crossed, because I do not want to have to speak with anyone at the agency about this if I don't have to. I hope by the weekend I can get some sort of relief.
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