I'm getting really scared. It's this immobilizing fear. I was looking through my email, and last year around this time, I received pictures on January 3rd, January 31st, February 13th, March 3rd, March 19th, April 5th, and April 19th (my birthday). Now I've gone from November 25 til ???.
Maybe I was spoiled by the 'first year' excitement and all of the photos of her adjusting and changing into a one-year-old. Maybe all of that contact led me on...led me to believe it would never waver, although I knew deep down that eventually it would. I never thought it would be like this, though. This silence truly is deafening.
I hate that this is happening to you. Are you able to contact them by phone?
ReplyDeleteAhh, I do too, so much. Yes, we've exchanged numbers and recently exchanged texts about my promised pictures. A friend suggested I call the amom but I'm scared that I would burst into tears when/if she picked up the phone.
DeleteI would do it. If you burst into tears, so what? Isn't that what you are likely doing anyway? I still say give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they have some major things going on they don't want to talk about and it's taking all their focus. Maybe even marital problems (not like divorce, but working things out, or whatever). Either way, you are owed an explanation of sorts. If we went this long without sharing photos to either of our birth moms, I would almost expect a call like that.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I will have to give calling some more thought...I keep justifying it in my mind, telling myself something must be wrong (like you said). What kills me is the fact that she does respond within a day or so each time I've "checked in" about the issue, and promises to email that night or weekend, and then doesn't. Can someone's memory be that bad? Can you be that busy? I worry that I'm just being told what I want to hear.
DeleteThis makes me very sad.
ReplyDeleteMe, too. And angry!
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