Sunday, March 25, 2012

I'm making up for my lack of posting...two in one day!

Just sent another email. I thought about calling, but that's something I haven't done since placement (emails, text, and Skype only so far), so I thought I would keep that as a "last resort." I said in the email that it was no longer a matter of my desire for photos and an update as much as it was a matter of concern at this point. Of course I can never get enough photos, and I can't even imagine how much she has changed in the past 3 - 4 months. A lot, I'm sure. I came right out and said that I am nervous and scared, and although I trust her and appreciate all she has does for me, I can't help but be very worried. So, even if I don't get pictures as soon as I'd like (which would be, oh, yesterday) I hope she can at least decipher my tone in the email and see that I am literally shaking with anxiety over this. I don't feel like this is "it," like they are closing the adoption...and I can tell from Facebook that they all seem to be okay, so I'm not worried about anything too serious going on...but I am letting this get the best of me, for sure. It's not healthy. At least if I knew that the adoption was closing, I could try to get my bearings all over again and start to learn new ways to cope with that. But that's not the case (I don't think, at least I hope not), so I'm sort of in limbo, going to bed every night with hope and waking up to see nothing. It's frustrating! Thank you to all of my friends (in person and in the blog world) who have put up with me for the past few months and supported me through this, as best as you know how. Even if it means just listening to me vent about it, or letting me cry over it in front of you. I hope it comes to an end soon, and then, I'll be back!

1 comment:

  1. I'm hoping with everything I've got that you hear something back from her very soon and not just another promise or excuse. You deserve more than this and its not fair.
    And good job with the former guy you dated, seeing red flags and not giving in! What a creep!
    Keep us posted.