Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day

I think Father's Day should be called "Daddy's Day" from now on, or something like that. Any man can be a father, not to be too cliche, but it really does take so much more to be a dad. Then again, I guess saying "father's day" sounds more proper :)

A very special Father's Day wish to my dad. I could not be more proud to call him my dad, mine and only mine. He has been there for me through thick and thin, even (especially, actually) when I didn't deserve it. He is the only person in the world who managed to get me to crack a smile on the day I left the hospital without my daughter, and he wins the award for the best hugs ever. I can't wait for the day that my little girl can get to know him...she will be so lucky to have him as a grampa, along with her parent's fathers as well.

Also, happy father's day to my little girl's bio father as well as (and even more so) her adoptive daddy. I am grateful for him for being there for her because I would not have been able to have provided that for her. Her adoptive mom says that she is "absolutely the apple of her dad's eye" and that she is already a daddy's girl. I was and am such a daddy's girl, too. I think the bond between father and daughter is one of the most amazing on the planet, there is just something special there that I can't quite put my finger on when you see the way a dad's face lights up when he looks at his little girl, whether she is 2 days old, 2 months old, 2 years old, or 22 years old. It's just beautiful. I'm so happy my little girl will have that growing up. Not that her bio dad wouldn't have been in her life - I know he would have, but it would have been intermittent at best. Every other weekend and holidays...I didn't want that. I've been so blessed to always have both of my parents to grow up with in my home, and I am grateful for that because I know that's rare these days. I know from my own experience how excited I used to get, when my dad worked the late night shift at amtrak, and I would spend the majority of my evening making him some kind of "dessert" (as in, something only a parent would eat, just to make their kid smile, and then maybe spit it out when they weren't looking, hahaha) and I would leave a note on it saying hi, and I love you, and then in the morning I'd give him the 3rd degree as to whether he liked it or not, and why or why didn't he? What could I do better next time? Pink sprinkles, or purple sprinkles?

I don't know. I just want her to have that constant relationship in her life. Those moments are what I remember most from my childhood and I cherish them. I want her live to be even better than mine was, and I couldn't even begin to give her that when I couldn't start with the basics: two parents, living together, who didn't fight constantly, and who weren't together "just" because they had a child.

I'm getting off track here, as usual! I know I have been quiet lately, but honestly I've been sort of miserable, just stuck in bed for the time being because of my sprained foot from my car accident. I can only watch so many movies, read so many books, etc., before my mind gets tired of it and I start drifting off into that scary corner of my mind where I think over and doubt everything I've done in the past year or so of my life. So, every time I've gone to post something, I've realized that it's just all gloom and doom, so I thought better of it. Believe it or not, I don't enjoy whining! :)


  1. i envy your relationship with your dad, in a good way though :)

    happy father's day to all the special men in your & your little girls life!

  2. So very well said. You are very lucky to have such a great dad in your life, I only wish the same for my little boys. Their dad is still part of their lives, but just as you said, it is INTERMITTENT at best. It's hard; they miss him, ask when he's coming to see them, ask what he's doing, ask where he is.

    If you knew that was how your future with your daughter's father would play out (which, it seems like you did for the most part), then you made the best decision for your little girl. Having two parents was important to you and I respect that 100%. Keep your head up, you made a tough decision to be proud of!