Friday, September 23, 2011

I'm writing from New York tonight, as tomorrow I am going to the Paws for a Cause fundraiser in Rome (New York, that is!). It's a fundraiser and a walk-a-thon and I know I could use the walk, plus Shorty from Pit Boss and his adorable pit bull Hercules are hosting it and I'm not one to get all star-struck BUT I would love to give Hercules a big hug in person, provided I get the chance :)

I don't know why I always get flustered about being away from home. I was never really into sleepovers when I was younger, and if my friends and I did have one, I pushed for it to be at my house. The funny thing is, when I'm home, sometimes the last place I want to be is here. I dream of traveling and moving and just getting away from here...I'm 23 years old and I have lived in the same house for 23 years. The biggest move I've ever had was moving my bedroom from the front room to the back. I think I just really don't like change, to the extent that I don't even like sleeping away from my own bed. I don't know, though, because the several times I spent away with Arianna's birthdad, I had the most fun. Ironic, isn't it?

I came to New York last summer, too, to visit my best friend while she was living in the bronx. The circumstances were completely different; I took the Megabus as opposed to driving like I did this time, I stayed in her apartment vs. the hotel I'm in right now, I stayed for two nights rather than just one...but one giant difference keeps slapping me in the face: I had my little princess with me last summer when I was here. And, (not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing), things weren't 100% officially done between her father and I. I remember being on the bus on the way home and he called and we had a long talk about it (I had almost four hours to waste and the bus was next to empty), and now it just seems as if it was all for nothing. I'm in a better place in my life right now, I know it somewhere deep down, I just need to really start believing it.

I'm getting so off-topic. I'm happy to be here and I'm excited for tomorrow, so now more sadness here! I just miss her...

1 comment:

  1. I hope you get to meet him. Holly Madison is in Hawaii right now, and I'd love to go meet her!