Sunday, July 24, 2011


Today's been a rough day. I can't exactly put my finger on why, but it has. It was one of those days where I was very reluctant to get out of bed, and the minute I did, I just wanted to get back in it. I tried to work on my homework, but couldn't focus. I tried to find a movie to watch on t.v., and every single one had something to do with couples, babies, or both. Then I took note of the date and realized it's the 24th, which is not a significant day when it comes to my daughter or anything like that, it's just that three years ago today I went on a little 'mini-vacation' with her birth father and it was the most amazing three days of my life. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I guess once I realized it, I just let myself be sad about it rather than trying to mask it or bury it all day. I know I shouldn't get so upset about him's been a while now, and I should be moving on from him a lot faster than I am. Some days I am completely, 100% fine without him. Others I feel like I am going to cease to exist if we don't speak. I think that's normal - I don't know. This was my first real break-up, aside from the boys you 'date' in eighth grade, which basically means that you messaged them first when you signed onto AIM, before you IM'ed any of your other friends.

In a lame attempt to cheer myself up, I went out and bought these really cute stickers for my scrapbook:

...and now, I am going to curl up on the couch with spongebob mac & cheese and my kitty.

1 comment:

  1. Give yourself a break. Just like the grieving process of being a birthmom (and there is most definitely a grieving process there), there's a grieving process with your ex too. Don't expect to "get over it" at a certain rate. It *will* eventually get better, and you will eventually wonder why you grieved over him so much. Hang in there and experience the grief at your own rate until it does. *hugs*